A special Recipe for Rudy Giuliani - Moose Turd Pie

For sheer hutzpah and stupidity, there's Rudy Giuliani's speech at a Scott Walker rally that President Obama does not love America, because "He wasn’t brought up the way you were brought up and I was brought up through love of this country.”

Besides having the least little tinge of racism, on its face this is an outrageous slanderous thing to say, especially coming from a former mayor of a major (if not THE major U.S. City, New York). You might not agree with everything the President says and does (I certainly don't, but I suspect for very different reasons than Mr. Giuliani), but to say that means he doesn't love his country is off the rails.

I love my country and I find fault, lots of fault, with it. I don't believe we are the greatest in the world. If so, we'd have universal health care, housing programs that work, a decent living wage for all workers., better environmental regulation; we'd be working harder toward erasing income inequality, racism, sexism and ageism.

We'd be more like Sweden, maybe. Saying the President doesn't love his country because he wants to make some changes is like saying a parent doesn't love their child because she wants him to stop being a bully, get better grades, clean up her room or a dozen other things that every sane parent complains about every day.

I love my dogs, but  wish they'd stop eating poop off the street.

All of which brings to mind a culinary treat I would love to serve up to Mr. Giuliani and his ilk.

Moose Turd Pie, made famous in the song/story of the same name by U. Utah Phillips, the Golden Voice of the Great Southwest, who I had the pleasure to meet and to hear this song and others about riding the rails, unions and unrequited love.

Here is the man himself telling how he came to make a moose turd pie. (Read all the lyrics to the song, a sort of talking blues, here)  The background is working on a railroad line, hard labor, with the men, none of them knowing anything about cooking, taking turns cooking up the grub. If you complained about someone's cooking, you go the next shift. It was Phillips' turn this day. (Yes, this is an apocryphal story, but it's a good one.) Enjoy.


       "I sallied forth over the muddy river. I was walking around among the sheet grass and the bunch grass, and I looked down, and there was just a hell of a big moose turd. Biggest damn moose turd; that was a real steamer! I looked down at that meadow wafer, and I said to myself "Self, I'm going to bake up a big moose turd pie." Because if anybody complained about my cooking, they were going to have to cook. So I tipped that pasture pastry up on edge. I got my **** together, so to speak. And I started rolling it down towards the old cook car.

       "BALUUMP! BALUUMP!

      "I got it down there and leaned it up against the side and I climbed up in the cook car, and I baked a hell of a big pie shell. And I baked that moose turd in as slick as you please. And I cribbed it with my thumbs, and laid strips of dough across it, & garnished it with a sprig of parsley, a little paprika. It was beautiful; poetry on a plate. And I served it up for dessert, waiting for the first hint of a complaint." 

     "Well, this giant dude comes in, about 5 foot 40; I mean he was big. Throwed himself down like a fool on a stool. Picked up his fork. Took a big bite of that moose turd pie. Well, he threw down his fork, and he let out a bellow, and he yelled..

     '"My God! That's Moose Turd Pie! ... It's Good, Though!"'

If you want to make some for yourself, try this actual edible version, compliments of http://www.quiltingboard.com/recipes-f8/i-need-recipe-moose-turd-pie-t222070.html:

Make a brownie crust. Bake and cool.
Make a chocolate pudding, and mix it with whipped cream for a fluffy mousse-like filling.
Stir in a bunch of mini peanut butter cups (or chocolate covered caramel balls or chocolate covered peppermint patties). You could also add some coconut and/or chopped nuts or any other delicacies you think would win the men over to declare your offering THE winner!!!
Pour into pie shell. Chill.
Drizzle chocolate and butterscotch over top in a grid like or circular design.
Edge around the pie crust with whipped cream.

Cold Weather Political Stew

If you are on the East Coast, or even in the deep south, according to the weather man, and you have any kind of special election coming up, you might enjoy a cup of this when you get back from stumping. In California, you might enjoy a cup of this real recipe, actually called Political Chili Pot (Yum!), after a long day of precinct walking for Joan Buchanan or Susan Bonilla, two women vying for the State Senate seat left vacant by Mark DeSaulnier's election to Congress in November. (Oh, yes, there is one man, Steve Glazer, in this special March 17 primary. Oh did I mention that all three are Democrats? Redistricting!))

It does get cold after dark, even in the San Francisco Bay area.

It is February after all.

So have your non-walking volunteers, husbands or boyfriends, keep a pot of this on the stove for those post-walk debriefs back at campaign headquarters. Your tummy and your volunteers will thank you!

POLITICAL CHILI POT

1/3 c. vegetable oil 5 med. onions, sliced 3 lbs. ground beef 2 tbsp. chili powder 1 tbsp. salt 2 cans kidney beans 1 tsp. paprika 3/4 tsp. Tabasco powder 1/4 tsp. oregano 2 cans tomatoes 1 (16 oz.) can tomato paste Heat oil in 6-8 quart saucepan and add onion, cook until tender but not brown. Add ground beef, sprinkle with chili powder, salt, paprika, Tabasco powder, and oregano. Cook until meat is brown, breaking up with a fork. Add tomatoes and tomato paste. Cover; simmer 45 minutes. Add kidney beans, simmer 15 minutes longer.

Ingredients for a successful politician: "Inflating the truth?"

Oh, that zany Willie Brown, former Speaker of the California Assembly, former Mayor of San Francisco, now a lobbying whiz and bon vivant around town, seen at all the best parties, and dishing out advice and sage homilies.

His latest bit of wisdom comes in an almost hidden paragraph in his regular S.F. Chronicle column this Sunday. Talking about the trouble that Brian Williams seems to have got himself in by stretching the truth into tall tales, he all but comes right out and says that is that it's ok for politicians to lie. I quote:

"NBC News anchor Brian Williams’ biggest mistake was trying to be like a politician.

"Inflating stories to make ourselves look better is just part of the job. And for the most part, the public accepts our doing it. But unlike journalists, credibility isn’t a politician’s stock-in-trade. Our job is to get the job done and deliver the goods for the public." 

Getting the job done, "delivering the goods for the public" is of course laudable. And what our politicians should do, but do we really think it's ok to lie, exaggerate, "inflate the stories?"

This is not the advice I give my clients, please be assured. And when they get caught in a lie, they better not quote Willie Brown that truthfulness is not an ingredient in their recipe for success, or they may find themselves out of a job.

Here's  recipe I found called (Seriously!)  POLITICIAN DELIGHT  (Just don't try to pass off the chocolate pudding mix and cool whip as your homemade chocolate mouse and whipped cream.)

POLITICIAN DELIGHT

CRUST: 1 c. flour 1 stick of butter 1/2 c. chopped walnuts or pecans Mix like pastry, press in a 9 x 13 size pan, firmly. Bake in a 350 degree oven 10 to 12 minutes until light brown cool. FIRST LAYER: 1 (8 oz.) pkg. cream cheese 1 c. powdered sugar Beat until fluffy. Fold in a medium carton of Cool Whip, spread on crust. SECOND LAYER: 2 sm. packages of instant chocolate pudding 2 1/2 c. of milk Mix together, spread over first layer. THIRD LAYER: 1 sm. medium carton of Cool Whip Spread over second layer. FOURTH LAYER: Spread toasted coconut or walnuts over third layer. 1 cup of either one. Chill cut into squares or freeze.