Marin Pension Board Divests Tobacco Stocks, Buys Marijuana Futures

Satire alert. This ain't never going to happen, but if it does, a local brand called Marin Mellow will be sure to follow.

Read the IJ story first, in which our band of merry Pension Board members defend their steadfast refusal to divest from tobacco funds, unanimously voting to put profits ahead of people as they try to protect their investments.  Yes, they have an obligation to keep the fund solvent, but wouldn't this be more fun?

Today's Independent Journal reports the abrupt about-face by the Marin Pension Board, which only this week voted to keep all its tobacco stocks, despite passionate pleas by the public to divest in cancer causing greed stick industry.

In a late night session, called following the County auditor's back of envelope calculations, the Board determined the future would be tobaccoless, but marijuana rich.

"Eventually, we will legalize this stuff," said pension chief Jeff Wickman,"and we need to be in on the ground floor.  The public and the health lobby will not get off our back until we divest anyway, so why not be pro-active about it?  it's a long-term win-win for the county and the tax coffers."

With that, he ended the midnight press conference in front of the Civic Center, and hurried into a waiting car, from which sweet smells wafted, as it sped away.  Strains of reggae music could be heard in the vehicle's path, as it headed for the Freeway.

Democracy is Coming to the U.S.A.

At the County Fair this Sunday, I staffed the Democratic booth.  At first, the usual ho yum, yawn-worthy nothing happening day.  Then, we started noticing something. Kids were queuing up to play the "democracy game," something one of our members invented.  They would divide into teams, boys versus girls usually, or some might get a little coaching from mom or dad, but most of them (average age 12) were eager and bright, and knew most of the answers to questions like "Is the United States a constitutional Republic?" "How many stars/stripes on the US flag and what do they stand for?" and my personal favorite, "Does democracy require that voters be informed to vote?"

The creator of the game gave the answer of "SO True!"  meaning a real Democracy, a working democracy, needs informed voters.  However, most of the kids said "No," realizing as do most of you, I'm sure, that any idiot can vote.  

After I said there were no wrong answers to that question, I did my spiel on the importance of being an informed voter. But that alas, you don't need to know anything to cast your ballot.

Then, everyone got a kazoo for playing the game and joined in a rousing rendition of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic."

But the high point of the day was registering a young "Dreamer," a woman whose parents had brought her at age 6, seeking asylum. It took twenty-two years for their asylum to be granted, and their daughter, a real American, to become a citizen.   We were proud to register her to vote, and as a Democrat.