Ageism- the Last Frontier
I get it. No one wants to be old. No one wants to admit they will get old which means that much closer to death. Easier to see the old - an ever changing target- as the Other, like blacks, Latinx, lgbtq+, women, or others with easily definable traits, that are not your traits.
But everyone gets old and, as they say, it’s better than the alternative, unless for some inexplicable reason you desire to die young. And people age in different ways. True, some experience physical or cognitive problems. Others remain fit, active, creative and contributing to community well into their 90s and beyond. My friend, poet Priscilla Long, has written about it in Dancing with the Muse in Old Age, in which she interviews creative people of various “old” ages from 75 to over 100.
Another friend, Howard Schoof, ran for and won a community college seat at 65 and served for years. Then started a jazz club, wine making, taught a popular wine appreciation class and took up painting which he was very good a, until the day he died, at 93 peacefully in his sleep, as “with it” as ever. My first poetry teacher, Edith Jenkins, published a book with City Lights in her 80’s, held workshops until she was 90. Died in her bath at home, after dinner out with her family.
When ageism is
paired with sexism the results can be toxic. And not to get into a political
discussion, but again as “they “ say, all politics in personal, I agree that Dianne
Feinstein appears to have significant cognitive problems and probably should
not be serving as a U.S. Senator, but we
can’t ignore the very real issues of the loss of seniority on the Judiciary Committee
should she give up her seat early. I also note that several prominent male
senators served well into their 90s. Some showing the same cognitive issues as
she. None of them were called out and their resignation demanded.
Calling out people’s age rather than their ability to do the work, enthusiasm for the job, policy decisions, and so forth, just exacerbates the negative way people view aging in this society. A recent article in the Marin IJ focusing on Barbara Lees age highlights this problem. It quotes a 76 year old woman who says she aligns with Barbara s policies, but worries about her age that she’s be in her 80’s when her term is over. I wonder, does this woman believe she herself is facing imminent dementia? And doesn’t this add to the myth that old age means decline in all ways and therefore, should not be allowed? Obviously that is not the answer, any more than not allowing BIPOC people, gays or those with physical disabilities not to serve, should be tolerated.
We are all aging, and as we do we all face the final “ism” that is still permitted to exist: Ageism. It is going to happen to you. The whitest, richest, most successful of us all, will face it. Maybe the powerful can cushion it with money or by surrounding themselves with yes-men. But they can’t stop the oncoming reality of old age. It doesn’t have to be a career stopper.
Even in supposedly helpful ways, society contributes to ageism. “Senior day” at the supermarket. Discounts for movies, plays and concerts. (And yes, because of the high cost of everything these days, I admit I do take advantage of some of them). But I’d prefer they do fixed-income days. Reserve the discounts for those who really need it?. Why single out old people? It’s easy and makes you feel good. When really it’s condescending and patronizing. Let me help you. You’re old. I’m not. The ads for “A Place for Mom.” When did Mom suddenly need to go to a “place?” It’s chilling. It is otherism.
Of course, we must make way for younger people, in politics, as in all things. But it isn’t a case of us or them. We are all on the same continuum. Let’s help, as older people (don’t get me started on the word “senior”) by mentoring, teaching, setting a good examples Getting old should not mean getting pushed to the curb or having to go to a Place.
