N.S.A. Spying Extends to Women's Wombs

In late breaking news, the N.S.A. revealed that it's surveillance technology had so advanced in recent months, that it is now capable of spying directly into women's wombs.

"We have the ability to do remote ultra-senstive sonograms," said an anonymous source deep within the Agency.

"We do not have to wait weeks to see if someone is pregnant or not," the source continued from a remote undisclosed location by secure cell phone transmission. "We can track the moment of conception, and that woman can be immediately marked by laser (painlessly of course) with a red P for pregnant, to alert all of her status."

"Then are in a prime position to get the government to ban all abortions.  And that pesky Plan B pill and all the other plans now being tested in shady laboratories by unsavory baby-killing doctors."

When asked why the N.S.A. cares about women and their bodies, the unnamed source retorted: "We are in the business of saving American lives, plain and simple."  Follow up questions were unanswered as a strange buzzing noise filled our reporter's ear, and the interview was over.